I don’t remember when I attended my first networking group probably because I’ve blocked it out. I’m fairly certain I did a crappy job.
I was scared, shaking in fact, and had no idea what to do. When it came to my turn to impress people with “what I did” I have no idea what I said. I could barely speak.
I hated networking. Sometimes I still do. Well, I hate the “old-school” way of networking. (That’s also why I started Biz Divas.)
Old-school style is giving out as many business cards as possible in the hour you are together, getting as many business cards, making small talk to “impress” people, pitching people on your stuff then putting all of those business cards into your database so you can spam them. Lame. Super lame.
As Marilyn Sorensen said at a recent networking group she spoke at, Networking is really just a fancy word for making friends. It’s about connecting. It’s about being genuinely supportive to other people. That’s it.
People ask all the time how to network if you are shy.
Flashback to me as a kid: quiet and shy. I was more content drawing and playing with one or two other kids and disliked being in the spotlight.
Flashback to me in high school: quiet, shy and now add a low self esteem.
Flashback to college: ditto for what was in high school.
This shifted in my mid-to-late 20s. I have not always been someone who could easily talk to people. In fact, I still have to prepare myself to go into a room full of people and talk to them. It’s still a stretch. You can still be an excellent networker if it scares you!
This is how you do it:
#1: Stop making it about you!
If you are having thoughts like “networking doesn’t work” then you are making it about you. Make it about how you can serve someone else.
#2: Give first, then receive.
Give value and then you will receive value. Give connections and people will be more likely to give you the connections you are looking for. Give referrals and people will remember that and refer you when it comes up.
#3: Show up more than once.
People will buy after they have been exposed to a product 4-7 times. Just because you go to an event once and you walk away without any sales doesn’t mean the event was a failure. Are you showing up consistently? If not, then don’t complain.
#4: Know what you do.
If you are showing up at an event and every month you are doing something different, or now you have this new package and the next month you have a new, new package and the next month you have a new, new and really new package, no one knows what to expect from you. Stick to your core message. Just because you are bored with it doesn’t mean your prospects are. Get your elevator pitch down!
And you can’t be an expert at everything. Focus on your niche. (You can get help with this at the July next Biz Divas – see below for details and for what is happening in June.)
#5: Ask questions then stop talking.
In a networking setting, ask meaningful questions. Then listen. Then do what most people don’t do and connect them to a possible contact or resource. Suggest who they can talk to if what they are looking for isn’t you. Be a good connector.
#6: Find a match.
Find a group that resonates with you. Go to where your ideal client will be. If your ideal client is women then find groups or events that have women. If your ideal client are moms of pre-school age children, then find out where they are hanging out, or blogging or shopping and talk to them.
#7: Authenticity is everything.
Be real. Be honest. Show up authentically. People will connect with you. And since you show up regularly, people will trust you.
#8: Follow Up.
Just do it. Phone, email, card, social media…it doesn’t matter, just do it. Stop trying to make it perfect and just follow up authentically. A thank-you goes a long way.
#9: Be Grateful.
Thank people for giving you referrals. Thank people who refer you. Amber Griffiths of AG Design is the queen at this. Every time I’ve given her a referral, she has sent me a thank-you card with in a couple of days of receiving the referral. I’ve even gotten a thank-you from her when she was able to bid on a graphic design job and she didn’t know if she got the bid. Now that is a class act.
It’s really that simple. If you are in business you have to meet people. You can “meet” people online but you can LEVERAGE your business when you connect with people.
Your next client, deal, sale and solution may not happen with the person in front of you, but everything happens THROUGH people. Get out of your office and connect.
Today is Mother’s Day.
Along with my thoughts to celebrate the moms in my life I also think about some things that are a little more solemn…
On this annual day of recognition, I often think about friends who have lost their mother. Is this day especially tough for them? I think about the many friends who have lost a baby through a miscarriage or a death? How do they feel? I also think about the women and couples who haven’t been able to conceive but so badly want to. I also think about the brave women and couples who place their baby up for adoption. And about those people who have excitedly adopted those precious children.
I’m not a mother in the traditional sense, as in I’ve never given birth to a child. But I still consider myself a mother.
(The picture to the left is my sister Rochelle and I. She and her husband just returned to the states yesterday after being stationed in Japan for the past three years.)
Reason #1: As the oldest of four kids, I often had the “mothering” role with my siblings. I would do practically anything for my siblings. One Halloween, I was in high school and my two sisters were wanting to dress up to go trick-or-treating. I got an idea.
They could be Hershey Kisses. Don’t ask me where this came from, but we were all excited. I got brown garbage sacks and cut a hole for their head and arms. They each put it on like a dress and we tied the bottom…then we started stuffing. We packed their new brown plastic dress with newspaper so it would be full like a Hershey Kiss.
I molded tinfoil to their head so it mimicked the shape of a wrapped Hershey Kiss. They each had a sash over one shoulder, like a Miss America sash, that said “Hershey Kiss” in blue lettering.
They were excited, I was pleased at the creativity and off we went for a night of candy. They got ahead of me and when they were about 20 feet in front of me the reality sunk in. My heart sank. They looked like little pieces of poop (brown garbage bag) with a silver helmet walking down the street. Were they communicating with aliens?
We laugh hysterically about it now, but then I thought I had done a bad thing.
The good news is that when people saw their Hershey Kiss sash, they laughed at the clever idea and smiled at the excited red heads under their silver helmets.
Reason #2: I started babysitting kids in the neighborhood when I was nine years old. Yes, NINE! One family I tended for had FIVE kids, their oldest was five, the youngest were 5-month old twins. I got paid a dollar an hour. (I got a raise from $.75 an hour when the family had the twins.) AND their house would usually be clean in addition to the parents coming home to five happy kids.
I look at nine-year-olds today and think “Who in their right mind would give them the responsibility of keeping FIVE children under the age of five SAFE???”
Reason #3: During college I was a nanny for a couple of families. The family I was with the longest became my second family, the mom and dad became my second set of parents. I took the youngest child to his first day of kindergarten and felt so proud as he walked nervously into his class with his oversized backpack into his new adventure.
Reason #4: These memories are only part of why I’m celebrating Mother’s day today. I’m celebrating because I’ve breathed life into new possibilities. I’ve carried dreams within my soul and womb until they are ready to be birthed into the world. I deliver them with great care, nervousness and excitement as I wonder what the ideas will be when “they grow up.”
I’m the mother of three current businesses and one business that I laid to rest when it was time. I’ll birth thousands of other ideas into the world during my life.
Do you feel the same way about your business?
Every day you give smiles, words of encouragement, nurturing hugs and more to your business. You protect it. You would do anything to see it be successful. You love it, even during the temper tantrums that you can’t explain.
Happy Mother’s Day to you. Giving birth is just semantics; you are nurturing something to life. Your business has an energy and a life force all it’s own. You were asked to give birth to it, raise it and love it. Thank you for mothering your business – it serves a purpose in the world and makes a difference. So do you.
With Love and To Your Success,
Angela
I keep hearing “you know you are living your purpose if there is ease and flow.” What does that mean?
I’m confused by this. I see brilliant entrepreneurs quit in the middle of their process because they didn’t feel like it was easy or in the flow.
But here is the thing. We are beings of nature and in nature everything has a rhythm to it. Our human bodies have a rhythm to it. When a woman has a baby, their body knows what to do. It’s a natural process. (This will make sense in a second.)
I’m pretty sure there are times when it doesn’t feel easy or in the flow. There are times of intensity, yet we know it’s in the flow because we TRUST the process and we are committed to the result.
Why do we apply stipulations to our business that we don’t apply to nature? Example: If it’s not easy, it means that I’m not supposed to go down this particular path in my business.
Yet, as women we know our bodies go through many cycles and phases. In the middle of a cold do you tell yourself that because it’s not easy, I’m going to quit? Do you tell yourself that it’s a sign that I’m not supposed to be on this path? Sure, it may be a sign that you need to rest but to totally change gears at the drop of a hat? You have to go THROUGH the cold to get to the result of health.
Yes, you do know that you are in your purpose when you are in ease and flow AND just like in nature, there are times of intensity. We see this all around us: intensity in weather, the birthing process, healing from a cold, etc. Rather than taking the intensity as a “sign” that it’s not supposed to happen, and you are supposed to QUIT, understand that through the intensity you will get your desired result. Stick with the process. You will know what is “intensity” or if you should change directions.
I know your inbox is getting full of emails that start with “Can you believe that 2011 is almost here?” “Wow what a 2010…”
And while I appreciate all of the New Year’s Wishes, I have a few mixed thoughts on 2010.
I’m going to get transparent about what is really up for me as 2010 comes to a close.
I’m soooo glad to be complete with the roller coaster of 2010! While it’s been a remarkable year, 2010 also holds some of the darkest times I’ve had in years. It was a huge growth year of self discovery and holds some huge life lessons that I created. And it was all perfect.
I’ve learned several HUGE things this past year, a few of which have taken my breath away. Sometimes because I was in awe of miraculous synchronicity and other times because I was energetically kicked in the gut.
As more entrepreneurs share their successes and challenges with me from the last year, I see that we have one big thing in common. 2010 held opportunities for us to look at any remaining residue that was holding us back. No longer could we put a Band-Aid over it or turn the other way, we were “forced” to look at it and when we saw the perfection of it, we were able to release it.
And the beautiful part that I saw time and time again is that this process was relatively quick if we chose to commit to our truth and success more than we were willing to hang on to our “stories” of smallness.
As a result I have a deeper sense of purpose. Here are the top six lessons I learned and how I’m choosing to insert them into my business for 2011:
1. Ask for Help. Period.
Tip: Ask for help before it becomes or feels like a crisis.
2. Receive Help When It’s Offered.
This has been a huge pitfall for me in 2010. One where I got to renegotiate my word, compromise sacred time for my own soul, and denied people from contributing their gifts to the vision of what we could co-create because I chose to do things myself. I have great help around me now and my what a difference it makes.
Tip: You are worthy and deserving to receive support.
3. Hire Experts
Even though I’m good at a lot of things, hiring experts to be part of my team has allowed me the space to get really clear about not only what I’m damn good at but what do I LOVE to do. I know it’s something I LOVE to do because I feel like a kid at Christmas and I can’t wait to share it!
Tip: Continue to hire experts. Continue to invest in coaches. Only work with people who are rock stars at what they do and align with your values.
4. Let Go of Toxic Relationships and Circumstances.
This has been difficult for me because ever since I was a kid I’ve been the person who just wants everyone to get along. When someone chooses a different path than the one I’m on and vice versa I go through my cycle of grieving for the space that has been created by their departure. And this isn’t just people; it’s the self-created circumstances and those darn conversations in my own head. You know, “those conversations” …they fuel the self doubt and the fear storms.
Tip: You have the right to control your environment. Clear out the clutter and release the people and things that don’t fully support your vision and potential.
5. Know When to Rest and When to Move with Urgency
Quite frankly, my physical body has taken the biggest abuse in 2010. There were times when I didn’t give myself permission to rest and rejuvenate. This showed up as gained weight, fatigue and feeling overwhelmed. Moving forward I know that rest is the only way to receive inspiration and motivation. The good news is I’m honoring my natural rhythms of when I’m most inspired. I’m still making changes to take better care of myself and it feels awesome.
Tip: Rest and give yourself time off. Schedule lunch and stretch breaks on your calendar if you have to. Take care of your body so it can be the machine that makes the difference you want to make through your business.
6. THE BIGGEST LESSON I received is to Trust My Purpose and Value. My business has shifted a lot in the past year. I’m playing bigger and I’ve committed to surround myself with people who are playing bigger. The more I allow my purpose to spring forth, the more opportunities I notice and have the confidence to take action on. I’m also totally clear on my path, value and message. I got to let go of some of the bright sparkly things that looked fun but were really distractions from my bigger purpose.
Tip: Working on your confidence and personal development is essential. When you are clear on your value you charge what you are worth and you get it. If your goal is to get more clients, you don’t have a client issue. You have a marketing and sales issue, which links to a confidence issue. You can sell yourself better than anyone else can. Doing it with confidence creates results quickly.
Many of my clients have been focused on setting up and improving their drip campaigns or autoresponder email series, which can also be called “Follow up Sequences” in my favorite email manager, Infusion Soft.
People often ask me what should be in the first email that is sent after someone opts in to your email.
First, thank the person for being a part of your community.
Second, let them know what they will receive from you. Here are a few examples:
Hi Angela,
Thank you for being part of our illuminated tribe. My team and I are committed to bring you the best experts, inspiration, education and empowerment in the most important areas of your life.
We believe you get to have it all. The Illuminated tribe celebrates you in having your best finances, business, career, family, relationships, health and purpose!
Our monthly newsletter will share resources on these topics and specials for our events, including our annual Ignite Your Spark women’s conference.
We are glad to have you be a part of our tribe.
To Your Illumination,
Angela Johnson and the Illuminated Team
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I wanted to highlight Amy Applebaum’s first autoresponder too because I really like how she listed the type of information you will receive:
Hi Angela,
As a member, you will receive:
- Invitations and Special Offers for Members Only
- Monthly Coaching Tips
- Access to my Ask Amy Advice Column
- Assignments to Keep You “In-Action” and Moving Towards Your Goals
- An Opportunity to Be or Nominate Our “Entrepreneur of The Month.”
Everything I email you is meant to help you be a happy and successful. So, if there is something special you’d like to request or a comment you would like to make, feel free to contact me anytime.
Amy
Another shout out to how Amy has set up her website: I just came across Amy Applebaum and I like how she has identified three distinct paths that people can work with her on her site. This makes it easy for her market to identify if they are her ideal market.
